Today one of my students asked an important question about the importance of achieving your goals. I will share the chat:
Ben: Alex, how to achieve my goals?
Alex: What do you want to achieve?
Ben: Make my Instagram page popular.
Alex: Maybe there is no motivation just because it’s quite an empty activity—to be known on Instagram. But I will not criticize you. I’ll help, and that’s it. Answer what, in your opinion, makes it challenging to achieve your goal?
Ben: I have no motivation. It seems like I feel the excitement; I keep posting for a couple of weeks and disappear from the air again. I don’t know how to fix it.
Alex: As far as I know, you have two children?
Ben: Yes. Mainly my wife helps, but they need a lot of attention. The evenings are dead, and there is no time for myself at all.
Alex: I can only imagine how difficult it’s for you, but I know who can handle many things despite having three or more children. They have time for it because… Well okay… Let’s do it differently. You see, if you discover the reasons why you don’t do what you want, it doesn’t guarantee change. When people find out about their problems, nothing changes. So I propose to act and not just talk. That’s why I suggest starting now. Okay?
Alex: Publish a new post on Instagram.
Alex: Yes, now.
Ben: But about what?
Alex: You overthink. Look around, what do you see?
Ben: A castle.
Alex: What else?
Alex: What else?
Ben: I don’t know…
Alex: What is beautiful for you? What would you like to share?
Ben: I like the castle.
Alex: Make a photo and post it.
Ben: But what should I write?
Alex: Nothing. The point is to begin.
Alex: Don’t think, just do.
Ben: Okay, wait a sec… I’ll post it in my stories.
(Takes a photo and uploads online.)
Alex: Now, if you want a change, commit to me that you’ll be posting news every day for 17 days in a row.
Ben: Why 17 days?
Alex: You need the habit of posting news every day. Science has shown that it takes at least 14-17 days to develop a habit. After all these days, you’ll get used to posting, just like with water. If you drink a glass every day for two weeks or more, after a while, you will feel that you can’t be without water. The hand itself will be pulling up to the cup. The subconscious will ask you to move. True, it would be good to do this for at least 30 days to form a habit, but we start with 17 days. And yet, if you don’t publish a post one day, you will pay a nonprofit fine by donating 100 euros. For puppies or… To whom could you make the transfer?
Ben: I will think about it.
Alex: Okay, you have to swear. When you swear, commitment will be born. You see, people lack commitment. On the other hand, people are afraid to commit because it gives them a feeling of discomfort. But it’s necessary. Because commitment creates motivation, it helps you achieve your goals. I wrote about it in my book “Happy Bastards.” And I talked about it on the Medium blog. I often commit myself because, in my opinion, it’s the best way to receive motivation. For example, I used to want to write a book in PDF format and give it to readers. But somehow, I was lazy. Some work was coming up all the time. So I decided to commit. I wrote a post on my Facebook page that I promise to write a book in 2 months, and if I don’t make it on time, I’ll pay a fine to any follower—anyone who leaves a comment below the post. Hundreds of people started writing to me. I calculated that if I didn’t write my book on time, I would pay at least 3,000 euros. I didn’t want to pay such a penalty, so I wrote the book. And it turned out to be great. People can download this free book by pressing here. The book is called “How to Kill the Inner Critic (PDF).” So make a commitment, and then decisions will be made. Unfortunately, people usually think about how to do something but still don’t act because there is no one to encourage the movement, so start by taking responsibility, understanding the idea?
Ben: Yes, I knew about it, but there was no one to ask for commitment.
Alex: Yes, I ask you to do it! When do you start? Why not now?
Ben: Okay, I promise!
Alex: What do you promise?
Ben: I promise to post daily. Because promising is the simplest step to achieving your goals.
Alex: I will check, and if you lack ideas, write, ask what to write. By the way, do you feel the adrenaline? Do you feel responsible and willing to act?
Alex: We turned on the mechanism. You feel that it will hurt if you forget Instagram for just one day.
P.S. The next day, I checked Benn’s Instagram and found a post. Oh yes, the commitment method works!
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