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In this article, I will give you the best advice that helped successful people discover a massive boost in their self-confidence in their activities and communication skills. These tips will help you to speak with strangers or resume your communication with others after your relationship has come to a standstill.
Here is the best advice that I suggest following every day:
1. Keep smiling every day—and smile WITH YOUR EYES!
Oh yes, it’s possible to smile with your eyes! I’ll show you an example.
Do you see the difference?
Unfortunately, what commonly occurs is when a person first sees a camera, they only smile with the lower portions of their face. Look at the picture below to see how strange and fake the result is.
When you know how to smile with your eyes, you gain confidence during professional and amateur photo shoot sessions, and anywhere else for that matter.
This advice is ideal in these times of the Coronavirus pandemic when we wear masks and cannot see other people’s mouths, making it difficult to understand what the person is thinking.
My daughter once fell ill with pneumonia, so I took her to the clinic. I remember the doctor coming to the ward. Her face was covered. However, the mask did not hide her smile—it was visible in her eyes. Yes, eyes can smile. It has to do with the smile lines that adorn the upper part of one’s face. As children respond to the moods of adults, my daughter smiled as well.
I’m grateful that the doctor infected us with a good mood, even though her mouth was covered.
IMPORTANT: You don’t have to smile 24 hours a day! You don’t always have to smile during meetings. We’re talking about the particular moments when you really want to smile… Yes, if you smile, then don’t forget to smile with your eyes!
2. Respect shyness, not only confidence!
Some people think that they can amaze other people thanks to the help of self-confidence. Many people believe this, which is why you sometimes see guys stretching out their heads a little bit too high, like peacocks. “I am cool, look at me.” However, not everybody admires those personalities. There are ladies that happen to like shy men, and there are men that like shy women. Because sometimes you have to be timid.
If you can accept your shyness and truthfulness, it will give you confidence.
Understand me correctly: you don’t have to be shy 24/7. Just be shy occasionally. Some time ago, I lacked shyness, as I wasn’t self-confident. When you are confident and accept all your emotions, you become yourself. The more natural you are, the more people will perceive you as being secure.
It’s scientifically proven that at least 15 minutes of exercise every day accelerates thinking. After exercising, your body feels good, which gives you a good mood + confidence. Knowing that you are taking care of yourself sets you off to a great start. Conversely, some people blame themselves for not taking the time to take care of their bodies.
4. Stop interrogating people!
Do you like it when someone always keeps questioning, bombing you with questions? Do you avoid those people or not? And do you like asking the questions?
Remember when you tried to approach a stranger at a seminar or on the street. I’m not only talking about members of the opposite sex. (P.S. I’m not a pick-up master. The purpose of this text is that you can feel at ease in any space—this is what’s most important.)
So, remember how you tried to approach the other person…
Yes, yes, I’m talking about when you wanted to start a conversation and thought about the right kinds of questions to ask. Not knowing what to answer, you would get nervous, right? But what if I tell you that you will NEVER have to interrogate people with questions from now on? Nevertheless, you don’t have to think about how to start a conversation with your relatives, with an old friend or with classmates that you haven’t seen for 30 years!
So, this advice can set you free!
Oh yes, I suggest communicating with assumption! For example, if you want to approach a stranger, walk up to them and say: “I thought, ‘Why not walk up and say hi?’ Honestly, I tell you, I didn’t even think of how to start this conversation.”
These words will be suitable for starting the conversation. Did you really think about just walking up to the other person? Of course not, as the undeniable truth is that you didn’t know what to say! Additionally, you don’t ask the question; you only shared your assumption. By doing so, you don’t press the person next to the wall, and they don’t need to answer the question.
Try, and you will see what kinds of miracles happen just because of you stopping to interrogate others. You won’t be asking the stranger their name, nor will you be asking them where they are from or how old they are.
If you want to know the person’s name, tell them yours first! If you wish to find out where they live, tell them where you live first!
Conduct an experiment: Rather than asking the stranger where they’re from, tell them that you’re from a small city named _____ (your city name). Just say it, and don’t ask them anything. I’m sure the stranger will either tell you the name of their city or ask you something else. That’s how conversations start.
So, start all conversations with an assumption!
Change the question “Would you like to meet up?” into the assumption “It would be great if we could meet up!”
Change the question “Maybe we could meet for coffee one day?” into the assumption “It would be great if we could go for a coffee in the city tomorrow and enjoy the city views. Let me know when you have the time.”
The question “I would like to go to the movie theater. When should we go?” can be changed into the assumption “I would love to go to the cinema! I have time this week.” (When the Covid pandemic is over, be sure to take advantage of those assumptions!)
5. Make fun of yourself even if they criticize you—don’t be a Terminator!
Oh yes, make fun of yourself when someone criticizes you! Why? The fear of being laughed at is a self-confidence cancer!!!
Try it—upload to your Facebook account a strange photo of yourself. Let others comment! Interestingly, when you are making fun of yourself, rarely will you receive horrible criticism. And if someone writes nonsense, shock them! Tell them: “Thank you for your opinion!”
Those who know how to react to criticism have a wonderful life. They don’t care what others say, so they are free and do what they want!
6. Learn to trust other people
As soon as you start to trust other people, they start to see confidence in your eyes. You don’t believe me? Remember the guy who didn’t trust his woman. Remember the facial expression of the guy that complains as though his woman is cheating on him. Those kinds of people are not confident. Those kinds of men are not admired!
And the one who trusts his woman looks completely different—he looks confident. Not needlessly stressing out creates the image of a confident person.
7. Learn to walk with straight shoulders
One shouldn’t go around with their nose wrinkled. You should feel relaxed but act confidently, as the world belongs to you. I know, maybe you don’t believe that the world belongs to you; however, this is only your opinion .
8. Make mistakes as much as possible!
I’m sure you’ve met people who are scared of making mistakes. Some are afraid to establish a company; others are scared to confess their love to another person. People are afraid to make a mistake, to be laughed at, because they think their worth will go down. This is not true. In reality, the more mistakes you make, the more you will gain the experience that will increase your worth. After all, the more problems you solve, the more experience you have.
Moreover, the more experience you have, the more interesting you are to experience seekers. And if you run away from problems all your life, it will be difficult for you to share advice with others. If you have no experience, you will not be able to write a book or tell a story that will inspire your grandchildren.
“Alex, I don’t care about my grandchildren, I don’t need them to be fascinated by me!” one of the tough guys will say. I have an answer for him. You have the right to act as you wish; the fact remains that the more experience you have, the more confidence you have. This is not just my opinion. Psychologists say that inner trust directly depends on how many problems and conflicts you have resolved.
9. Reach confidence not through the outside but through your creations + deeds
Everyone has seen Elon Musk. In his eyes and facial expression, there isn’t much confidence. As he doesn’t trust his outside, he has gigantic trust in business. That’s why the question arises as to what the better way to impress other people is with the outside or…
Let’s look at this from a different angle. Do you think the Dalai Lama is confident? He is, but his confidence charms me more than some confident Don Juan. That’s why you need to decide what kind of confidence is worth reaching.
There are different kinds of confidence. I especially admire people who trust their creations. The sentence “Better a charming deed than a charming body” befits them perfectly.
If you create intellectual beauty, you pay less attention to what others think about your external beauty, and this will give you great self-confidence!