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Do you remember the movie “Vanilla Sky,” in which the main character used the phrase “delayed gratification”?
Delaying pleasure is when you postpone a kiss for a longer time so that it can be sweeter, more profound, and maybe even more exotic.
Delaying pleasure doesn’t only have to do with romance or sex. It has to do with making love to life, to things you care deeply about.
Delaying gratification is related to everything we touch, feel, and aspire to. Anything we get too fast fades away too quickly, and anything that is harder to achieve makes more sense. Therefore, it often becomes the case that those who opt for quick pleasure experience less pleasure than those who opt for postponing it. Or maybe I’m wrong? Let’s check.
To clear my idea, let’s imagine that I suggest you choose one of the two gifts. Let us run through these choices:
Gift no. 1.
If you choose this wonderful/amazing present, you will get ten different gift vouchers and a selection of different hourly services, including wine, chocolate, and beer samplings, in addition to three different types of massages and even a ride in a Ferrari! Not bad, wouldn’t you agree?
Gift no. 2.
You can choose one year of intense training. For example, you could learn any language you want: French, Spanish, English, Italian, Chinese, or even Monégasque. Or… You will receive a membership at a gym. Instead of sweating on a treadmill, you can alternatively opt for happiness training, for which you will have to attend training sessions for at least six months.
Come on, which option will you choose?
By selecting the first option, you will have fun. But after a year, you will still be who you were, and your life will not change. However, if you choose gift no. 2, you will be able to:
a) Enjoy conversations with foreigners without needing a translator. For example, you could say what you want in a French shop or go to a winery and talk with local winemakers, enabling you to understand their culture better.
b) You will be able to add your newly acquired skill to your résumé, as an additional language increases your chances of finding a job.
c) You will feel pleasure every time you use this language because speaking a foreign language is something many people think is admirable.
d) You will receive praise for learning another language. I understand you don’t need compliments, but when you reach a certain age, you will thank yourself for having taken the time to do this and for not having pursued short-term entertainment.
e) You will be happy about your six-pack. You will definitely have it in 2 or more months.
f) You will improve your mindset and well-being.
So, by selecting the first choice, you will enjoy the short-term pleasure of driving a Ferrari. You won’t have to wait long to experience these pleasures, but they will disappear the next day. And if you select the second and third options, you probably won’t experience any good times soon. On the contrary, you will have to put in a lot of work and effort. You will need a lot of endurance. However, the more responsibly you participate in different kinds of training and lectures, the more pleasant moments you will experience in the future.
These are short-term pleasures that have minimal effect on personality change. Conversely, sports or happiness training can change your personality traits and give you the knowledge of how to be happy regardless of whether you have achieved your goals or not. Do you understand what I’m talking about?
“Alex, are you trying to say that we need to reject short-term pleasures?” someone will ask.
ABSOLUTELY NOT! You can enjoy natural fruit juices. You can enjoy life by playing with your kids, giving them love. You can enjoy a new movie. However, you need to understand that in addition to these things, you need to pursue something more, something that will give you high quality and super-stable pleasure + long-term satisfaction.
Unfortunately, even if it looks understandable, myriads of people only seek short-term pleasures; this is why such individuals don’t have the motivation for hard work. They’re quitting their work midway. Answer, why do some people work hard (like Elon Musk) while others play computer games? The answer is simple: gamers strive for fast pleasure, but such people as Elon are looking for quick and long-lasting pleasures.
As you can see, the results of a person’s life directly depend on the pleasures he reaches for: quick or difficult to achieve.
Therefore one in the evening will go to the shop to buy a beer while another will spend their spare time to get work done, as Elon Musk does. Calculate how many years he has been fantasizing about Mars. He has been doing that for so long that his dream will soon become a reality!
And now, attention: Imagine what Musk will feel when his rocket reaches its destination. His euphoria won’t last for just a few hours; he will feel a more prolonged pleasure than alcohol or cocaine users do, after which they will experience a hangover.
Elon Musk won’t feel any hangover because his pleasure will be natural. Plus, when he attains his goal, he will not only feel pleasure, but he will also gain others’ respect, as he was reaching for something grandiose that surprises, inspires, and takes a lot of time to achieve.
So, I repeat, the more effort your dreams require, and the more difficult it is to reach them, the more pleasure you will experience.
Translation: the size of the pleasure experienced is proportional to the work put into it.
But this is not the most interesting thing. What’s more interesting is that the clearer the person understands how important it is to reach long-term pleasure, the lesser the chance is that they will give up halfway and lower their hands if they have not been successful even after repeated attempts.
As you see, we have overstepped into the territory of motivation + stubbornness.
Do you now understand why some people are stubborn, while others are losers, as they give up after just a week from starting?
This explains why I’m stubborn.
I doubt that I am like this because of the A1 mutation, about which Dr. Markus Ullsperger talked. Because you can have genes for stubbornness, but what’s the point of them if you don’t have a clear vision? However, I have a vision, a ton of experience, and a good teacher’s advice, which I am not hesitating to use.
And now that I have told you about this, you can also use my advice and begin embracing not only short-term but also long-term success.
But enough with theories: let’s move on to the actual work that must be done every day.
Why I don’t dream about fast & easy success
You may be aware that I work every day on the internet website www.alexmonaco.net. How many months do you think I work on it without experiencing success?
This is the volume of visitors:
Let’s check this chart. In January I had sometimes 2 or 0 organic visitors per day… Google rarely finds my website… But now I have more, about 5 per day!
If I keep working, there will be a day when thousands will come!!!
I want it; that’s why I upload a lot of articles to my website.
I need to write more than 100 articles. Only by doing this can I get higher rankings in Google search.
To reach these numbers, I would have to contact a thousand people on the internet and coordinate with them so they can share my articles.
(By the way, if you are SEO specialist, write me – I NEED YOUR HELP)
As you see, a ton of work is awaiting me. I could choose an easier project, but my goal is different. Imagine how long my pleasure will last when this goal is reached. How much bliss, fulfillment, and other colorful emotions do you think I will experience?
How do you think I will feel? Will I feel better than a beer lover who uses alcohol to run away from reality to emancipate himself from his problems temporarily?
So, listen to me one more time: Why don’t I give up even if my progress is so slow?
I don’t give up because I clearly understand that the more hard work one puts in, the greater pleasures one experiences in the future. Oh yes, I don’t expect to experience euphoria after a month or two. Not having fast expectations, I don’t get upset because I still haven’t reached the goal, given that “fast” wasn’t the goal in the first place!
Oh yes, delayed gratification works. On the other hand, every day, I experience a ton of emotions. I am enjoying life, which means I live in two different modes by reaching both short-term and long-term pleasures.
And what kind of pleasures are you reaching for? Only short-term? Only long-term?
Know that you should reach for both!
So, I propose creating a one-year plan, a three-year plan, or even better, a five-year plan, and get to work! Do it, honestly.
I hope you have enjoyed this article, my dear friend.