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What does it mean to be happy with yourself, and how to reach joy?


In 2002 I played in a band. There were three of us. I played guitar. Rob was a drummer, and the vocalist used a microphone and pink pills.

ecstasy pills

The vocalist offered me ecstasy at nearly every gig. He used to say, “Relax, get a kick, be yourself. It’s the easiest way to find happiness, connect with yourself.” For a major fact, I wanted to try. Out of curiosity, and because of lack of happiness. In those days, I felt only tiny joy. It was hiding somewhere inside me. Anyway, I refused. Why? Pills help you find a connection with the pills or their dealers, BUT NOT WITH YOURSELF! Here we got to the main problem. You see, many of the tools to reach happiness point outward, not at yourself. Therefore, I propose to delve into this question. Oh yes, this article will help you to understand how real happiness works and how to find joy in yourself!

What does it mean to be happy with yourself?

Let’s do a fun mini-research. Ask passers-by what the following expression means to them, “How to be happy with yourself?” Could you guess what the answers will be?

One person would say: “Hey, everything here is as simple as one plus one. When I want to find happiness within myself, I spend time with myself every day in the evenings! I smoke a cigarette and open a beer! This is how I spend time with myself.”

Another character will mutter, “Mhhhh… When I want to relax, I play pool, golf.”

And if we asked this question to the Fast & Furious guys, they would have avoided the question by offering you to participate in a race.

The main problem is that these guys’ responses relate to spending time on hobbies, not themselves. Because if you’re emptying a glass of beer on Friday night, it means you’re spending time for a) your belly growth (when I drank beer, my belly grew a lot), b) glass and a beer (better to spend time with your significant other). Or, if you’re watching a show on Saturday, you’re spending your time on the show. If you are fishing, you spend your time on a fishing rod.

The same thing happens with all the entertainment we receive from society, including strip bars, Hollywood movies. These “pleasure tools” help you relax, but by spending your time on a movie, you build a bond with the actor on stage, not with yourself. However, only those who delve into themselves find true, stable, and social happiness. LET’S FACE IT, the wisest are those who have devoted the most time to themselves. Don’t you believe me? Then ask a wise person if they have seen the iconic Annabelle horror movie or the last part of the Fast & Furious. I doubt they saw these movies. After all, they took time for themselves, not for external entertainment and…

“Alex, you’re talking nonsense! I feel great fishing; it relaxes me!” one of the interlocutors will contradict me. I have an answer for them. Are you ready? You see, I used to like fishing myself. But I realized that it was not an intense way to relax. Not only that, I had to watch how local fishermen spend their time with alcohol.  

A bunch of fishermen will definitely attack me. They will show me a text found on the internet, “Fishing allows you to form special bonds with family and friends. Adventures on the water bring people together in several ways. When you share the thrill of a first catch or the stunning scenery of a new waterway, you form bonds with your fishing buddies that can last a lifetime.”

Yes, sometimes fishing can bring you together. However, I very rarely see one family fishing. As a matter of fact, I haven’t seen one like this. Not true? As you drive through fishermen’s favorite locations, you’ll see that 99% of fishermen are male.

On the other hand, what to do for some Peter who wants to experience not only happiness every day but also something stronger like joy? Does this mean Peter should be fishing every day? And if he lived in New York, would he have to go to the lake every morning? Do you know how much fishing tackle costs? Fishing rod, bots, and other 50 items… You will have to lay over $ 3,000. That’s why I don’t think fishing is a wise way. Because you will only be trying to buy happiness again…

There are some laws of nature. I will list a few:

Happiness law No. 1. When you buy happiness, it’s always synthetic. Happiness can only be natural when paid for in the value of effort (time invested in meditation, in yourself).

Happiness law No. 2. Synthetic happiness has bad side effects; natural happiness doesn’t.

The laws just mentioned are applied everywhere and always. They cannot be reprogrammed. These laws are perfect, installed in the foundations of the universe.

I know what I’m saying. I used to go to Mcdonalds (every day) once. It gave me pleasure and a bit of happiness. But then, I always felt guilty. Because bought happiness always has side effects. That’s why I gained weight. I was trying to bribe happiness. However, for some reason, I didn’t feel guilty after the meditation session I did at home, disconnected from the world. Do you understand what I mean?

I’m sure you understand me, but many would object. I suggest these people look at their hobbies through the eyes of critics. I propose to align the fishing rod with the guitar, golf putter. All these things are a kind of game consoles that help you escape from yourself, from bad thoughts. Let’s call it escapism. Or we can call it a hobby that enables you to relax a bit; we should use clever tools to achieve dense, saturated, wide-format happiness.

The wisest way to be happy with yourself

If you ask yourself, “How to be happy with me?” or “How to find happiness in myself?” pay attention to the words “myself” and “me.” This means you have to use yourself as a tool. In this case, you should only devote time to yourself, your mind. 

Close your eyes and feel happiness like this guy:


I know it’s complicated. After all, we are surrounded by too many stimuli. Therefore, it should be done slowly.

1. Give yourself a break from social media and your telephone. 

Not for a month, but for at least 15 minutes.

2. Use emotional fitness!

When you exercise, your focus is on exercising your body. It’s amazing, but when it comes to searching for happiness, we should focus on emotions. In other words, I offer emotional fitness

What is emotional fitness?
Emotional fitness is an important part of life. It helps you stay positive and happy in the face of challenges, whether personal or professional growth opportunities that may cause stress for some people with no emotional toolkit to draw on during these times. Emotions have been shown as a significant way we motivate ourselves; when everything seems bleak—bad relationships around us at work/home, etc. By being sad over past failures and looking forward expectantly into what could go right soon, there’s always hope! Research has found out how emotions like satisfaction can help increase your chances at success through improved self-confidence, leading to feeling better about yourself overall by becoming more confident.

3. Spend more time under the sun.

Being in nature doesn’t guarantee happiness, but it can help. I know what I’m saying. There were times when I tried to find time for myself whenever I came to the forest, to the lake, but I failed. Eventually, bad thoughts would steal my attention back then. I was thinking about my ex, about jealousy and… As a result, I had to do a lot to learn to focus my thoughts on positivity. But I did it outside under the sun. The sun has incredible power. Use it. Speed ​​up processes! If you spend time with yourself in a room between the four walls, it will be harder for you to reach your goal. Links to the research results are presented below the article. (See Resources.)

4. Use my article which tickles the happiness topic.

I wrote a detailed article about ten habits that will lead you to an answer. Of course, some tips will be connected to external tools to achieve happiness; however, I suggest using them only because they will help you move to the next level. In other words, my advice will be a ladder to a new level, where you will be able to create your own rules for achieving happiness—rules that will not depend on external factors! Read my article, “How to be happy: 10 habits to add to your routine.”


Regain article Being happy with yourself
wikiHow article Find happiness within yourself
Change your life forever article Learning to be happy with yourself
YouTube video: How to be happy with yourself
Research publication Benefits of sunlight: A bright spot for human health


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