Once, sitting in a café, I saw a girl who passed by smiling. Her movements convinced me that she was confident. Who knows, maybe she remembered a funny moment. Perhaps she…
We don’t know what exactly she was thinking, but the fact is this: the cocktail of thoughts in her head generated the confidence. You see, self-confidence is a result, not a tool, as many people often say. Let me explain.
Let’s take two objects in our hands: a vase with a flower and a bottle with water.
The water is a tool that helps a flower to grow.
The flower blossom that bloomed is the result of the watering, just like with your personality. After all, your personality is like a flower, which will bloom after you water it with good emotions, happiness.
By analogy, if you want to mature your confidence, you have to water it with good emotions—Only Then You Will Gain Self-Confidence!
So, a correct confidence formula would look like this:
|Emotions (happiness) + you = confident person|
Unfortunately, many people believe in this formula:
|Confidence + you = happiness and good emotions|
Oh yes, self-confidence is a fascinating thing. It has been researched / studied by many psychologists and philosophers. To understand what it is, I suggest you take some decent confidence in your hands and look at it in 3D, and then ask yourself again: “Damn, why do I need confidence, and what problems can it cause?”
Let’s take a side look at a guy who needs a girlfriend, so he decides to take advantage of self-confidence. He hires a pickup artist to train him. After learning the ropes and necessary tricks, he takes confidence in his arms and picks the girl. They become a couple. After a while, their relationship breaks down because the man’s confidence was a tool, not a result generated by his characteristics. This means that he learned to talk to a woman but forgot to work with values that would lead him to maturity as an individual and give him independence from others’ opinions, WHICH GIVES REAL CONFIDENCE.
I think you understood the idea.
So, you don’t need to learn phrasal phrases to ask that person out on a date!!!
You do not need to learn to walk with confident steps for others to show that you are self-confident (as this would be a lie, imitation, simulation)!
In the beginning, become a happy person!
So, learn how to manage your emotions!
If you will grab the tail of happiness and you will tame it, then it will hatch a bonus for you: self-confidence!!!