How to control fear: Sort out the cockroaches in your head
Sometimes fire-spitting dragons/cockroaches appear in our heads, so it is hard to control fear. Unfortunately, few know how to tame these dragons—force majeure, emotions, bad thoughts, doubts. Because in school, we were not taught to deal with emotions or conflicts, neither with others nor with ourselves. And nobody helped us to understand how to control fear. So, for this reason:
a. You are worried about what others will say when you go to an event, birthday, celebration, meeting, date.
b. You are reluctant to act the way you want. For example, when you want to invite a person you like on a date, you get nervous / feel a tremendous fear in your throat…
c. You are afraid to start a business / activity / hobby because you don’t want others to laugh at you because ______. You know why you fear the most…
d. You can’t get the thought that other things may fail out of your head… You don’t want criticism…
“Alex, stop with this points listing. Instead, it would be better if you told me how to proceed,” an interesting reader will say. OKAY, I’ll give you what you want; I’ll tell you how to proceed.
Table of Contents
Three ways on how to control fear
1. Read aloud a fear mini-manifesto.
Every time you get scared, use a mini-manifesto which you will receive in a moment. Although it is short, it has enormous power. The most important thing is to say out loud:
“You don’t have to fight fear. Let the fear exist. And when he nudges you again, grab him by the hand and walk towards the goal together. Show him how brave you can be. Let mister fear blow a fuse. Pull him behind you and let him dig his nails into the ground! Because you are stronger than fear, as fear serves you—you do not serve it!”
So your strategy is to take your fear with you on a journey.
2. Ask yourself two questions designed to understand what’s happening.
Let’s start with the first question: “HOW THE PERSON I RESPECT THE MOST WOULD BEHAVE BY BEING IN MY PLACE? OKAY, I’M AFRAID… BUT SERIOUSLY, HOW WOULD BEHAVE THAT PERSON WHICH I RESPECT?”
Remember an inspiring person you admire, then ask yourself what would that inspirational person do in your place if they felt the same amount of fear as you do. WHEN YOU FIND THE ANSWER, do what your ideal would do! WE KNOW WHAT YOUR IDEAL WOULD DO—HE WOULD JUST GO FURTHER! BEHAVE AS HE DOES!!!
The second question is related to looking towards the future. Ask yourself, “IS IT POSSIBLE THAT AFTER 20 YEARS, MY REASONS FOR HAVING FELT FEAR WOULD SURPRISE ME?”
Have you ever tried to admit in love to someone but didn’t because you were afraid to be laughed at? You could have done it, but you were less experienced, and you were needlessly scared. You only realized this after ten years, when you discovered how stupid you were to be afraid. Even though you’ve learned to convince people, you are still fearful of other things. For example, you’re still scared to tell your boss that he’s an asshole. You’re trying to avoid it. But in ten years (in 2031), you will regret it. Because you really had to tell your boss everything he deserved to hear. So why wait?
Whenever you want to achieve something, whenever you encounter fear, act as YOU want! Tell yourself, “What if I do what I really want? Otherwise, ten years later, I will regret being a sloth.”
I am sure, it will help you to control your fear.
3. Stop overthinking; count to three and take the first step towards the person / dream.
A wise man once said, “If you want to get rid of anxiety, bad thoughts, if you want to distract yourself from fear, just start counting in your mind. When you see the goal, try to start counting as immediately as you can. When you count, your brain is busy, so it has no time to overwhelm you with doubts and thoughts about the possibility of failure. After counting to three, do what you thought quickly. But do everything quickly, as quickly as a soldier, so that as few thoughts as possible cross your mind.”
Don’t stop—use these tips!
I’m sure that if you follow this advice, you will feel a change after a while. You’ll notice how fear begins to listen to you. So there is no need to get rid of fear. The fear will not go away, even if you scare it or burn it. Fear is eternal, but you can enslave it. To achieve this, you need 17 consecutive days to use the points listed above.
Why 17 days? Because scientists have proven that this is the amount of time you need to start shaping a new mindset.
Besides, these points helped me.
Oh yes, I have mastered my fears!
I am super strong, and sometimes it feels like fear has fallen asleep and has been sleeping for a long time.
I’m going to stroke his head because lately, my fear has been behaving outstandingly well
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