Today you will learn how to be happy again.
“C’mon, are you offering me to feel happy again? Haha! I wasn’t happy before!” one of my readers will say, who forgot how happy he was in deep childhood. When he was three years old, he was so excited about everything. Happiness erupted outside. Look at this picture:
We all felt this way once. But as we grew up, we learned to be sad. Society has taught us principles that have extinguished our charisma. Happiness stopped gushing out like a fountain.
The same happened with your neighbor and you, dear reader.
Although you sometimes manage to experience moments of happiness, it doesn’t stay with you for long. Therefore, you don’t know how to behave. Anyway, today you will figure out the answer.
As I’m the most generous motivator on the internet, a divinely honest article awaits you. Sure, I could do a workshop, raise money, but I have something to eat, so you’ll receive everything for free. Most importantly, take my advice, dear reader!
The tips I will give briefly are all about short-term and long-term happiness. So you will indeed find a way to apply them in your life! I’m sure about that! Let’s begin?
1: Remember more often how far you have come
I would be lying if I said that I’m always in a good mood. Sometimes sadness overwhelms me. External stimuli cause it, and occasionally inner ones. For example, sadness could be caused by my alexmonaco.net website being hacked. I want to send the servers to hell at times like this, but what can you get from anger and sadness? Okay if there’s someone to blame, but what if there isn’t? What to do if your hard breaks? What if you didn’t have a backup? What if you fail to finish your work—write one page for a book? The hell with it, I couldn’t even write a page for a new book last month! It’s frozen! Do you think this doesn’t make me sad?
When this happens to me, I decide to send the bad mood as far away as possible by looking in the mirror. I say, “Alex, remember how many times you’ve been angry with yourself, the world, your relatives, your loved one. Remember, how often have you said to yourself that you can’t anymore, THAT you won’t be able to solve the difficulties. But every time you solved all problems, you overcame all barriers, even though they seemed insurmountable. It proves that you are unbreakable, invincible. It proves that all the problems are made up and that you, Alex, are stronger than you think!”
You might call it funny talking to yourself, but psychologists have done a lot of research that proves that talking to yourself has many benefits/values. Therefore, when faced with sadness, be open with yourself. Talk to yourself as a mentor. If you don’t encourage yourself, you won’t move even a meter!
This phrase would fit here: “When it turns out that the whole world is against you, know that everyone who took the first step towards success felt the same.”
So, will you take my advice?
Will you encourage yourself? I guarantee that encouragement will give you positivity and, of course, happiness.
“Nonsense, it doesn’t work,” one of the readers will complain. I have prepared more methods for such people.
If you are feeling unwell and want to do nothing, make a few small movements. I will give you a few examples, and you choose the one you like best (or all of them):
- Dial your friend’s number. Do it now! Speak out! Do not waste your time on sadness, and go in search of your tribe, no matter where—on the internet, somewhere in a pub, in a new work collective, or on a dating website. Perhaps the art of communication with motivating people will help you in this.
- Say something good to your friends, people you know. And if they ask what happened to you, tell them, “Haha, don’t you want too much? You get on my nerves with your questions; what if we just have a good time? I want to feel happy again. And you can! Let’s just be together doing nothing!” Such a strange situation will make the day better and maybe even make you laugh. More sarcasm, dear reader ;)! Sarcasm saves your butt from disaster!
- If you need to—cry, break or hit something, but without harm to others. I remember it helped me to calm down and get back to my normal mood.
- Turn on positive music. Upbeat music has a significant influence on our mood and decisions. Don’t you believe me? Then do an experiment. FROM TODAY MINIMUM 5 HOURS, listen to horror movie soundtracks and see what your mood will be because our mood depends directly on what we hear.
- Believe me; a lot depends on colors. Once I got into an experiment at a museum in London—an interesting building with a dark red room. After a few minutes of my stay, I felt a wave of bad mood. I wanted to sit down… Because colors affect our mood. Take an interest in the influence of colors; choose a color that will give you energy, positivity. Additionally, don’t forget about good lighting. If the room is poorly lit.… Well, you understand everything… After all, if you lived in a basement with no windows, you would feel worse than in a room with large windows.
- Spend 30 seconds on your vision of who you would like to be. Tell yourself out loud, “What is more important to me to focus on the sadness or my dreams, desires, wonderful things that I really want?”
- Go for a walk. Oh yes, walk more often, even alone. Fresh air does amazing things. I could provide tons of research to prove it, but you already know it all. Just don’t forget to take advantage of the forest, nature, and other treats!
That’s not all. Let’s go further?
2: Allow yourself to regret about loss, but also try to move on
I don’t know what exactly you are feeling, dear reader. Perhaps the reason for your sadness is the loss of someone or something. It can be someone’s death, divorce or breakup, or losing a business or a favorite job. Or maybe you are afraid to find yourself in a similar situation.
Here’s what you need to do:
- Admit your loss. For heaven’s sake, stop thinking about why you are unlucky; better consider how to benefit from it. For example, my mistakes and failures were so interesting that I wrote a book about it, which you can now download for free. Download the free book here. If everything were perfect, what would I write about? So tell yourself:
“Yes, I made a mistake, but I will learn from it. Not only will I learn, but I will inspire my friends. I can only inspire them when I stop being sad! How much is my life worth if I stay who I am and be sad like an asshole?”
- Stop being in a “weak” position. Don’t think that someone will solve a problem for you. Only you can improve your life.
- Don’t blame anyone—neither yourself nor others. Blaming takes time, and time is the greatest value. Use it wisely!
3: Create a plan entitled “Happy again”
Anyone who knows me has seen my time management schedules and knows how much I like creating plans and tasks in Trello. However, not everyone likes it, so their lives become unmanageable. And when life gets out of hand, it’s hard to enjoy it.
So remember: planning and time management helps in all aspects of life, even when it comes to striving for happiness. Therefore, I suggest you use planning.
Here are some guidelines on how to get the plan right:
- When creating a plan, focus on solutions that will guarantee success. Don’t make plans to do more work than Elon Musk. IMPORTANT: We are not talking about making money. I propose a plan that will help you get back to the emotional state you experienced as a child or when you felt really good but without the use of drugs, alcohol, or smoking.
- Use the Grenade method I developed to create plans faster. How to find information about it? Use the search box on the website alexmonaco.net and find information about this invaluable method! It will help you create a plan in 5 minutes! Attention—the plan doesn’t have to be perfect; you will be able to adjust it during the process!
- Visualize your goal for being happy again—this will help to create what you really want. Decide exactly how you want to feel and how often. Think back to a moment you have already experienced and why you felt it. Ask yourself how to evoke a similar emotion.
4: Don’t only think about problems—get them solved
See, it won’t help you if you all day long keep saying to yourself these words, “Bro, think positively, life is great, just be happy again!” Because there are no binding words in similar sentences! Such words require no movement! Many more benefits can bring such a sentence, “Hey, enough of being afraid, solve the problem you have today and move on! Make a plan and commit to its implementation! One, two, three—I’m going to solve it!”
It’s evident that getting out of a depressed emotional state is a complex and lengthy process. So it would be great if you would use my tips more often. Try it, and a lovely thing will happen. Oh yes, if you work honestly with yourself, you will notice how over time, your personality transforms into something special, and you are no longer a victim of bad thoughts.
It will change a lot. It will give you new heights. Of course, you will have to monitor yourself from the side constantly; after all, it happens that people who don’t care about emotional hygiene go back to the beginning. In other words, no matter how much you change, I suggest you do some kind of test at least once a week to help you understand if your values have gone wrong. Ask yourself:
- When do I feel good—hurting or helping someone else?
(To someone, this question may seem veeery banal, but many people feel fantastic about hurting another person. Anyway, later, they suffer from it. Because when they spend time hurting another person, they don’t spend time on their dreams, so they can’t manage to reach them.)
- What helps me feel happy: alcohol, money, appreciation, or compliments?
- Is the purpose of my life to be happy or to bring happiness to others? Do I often say to myself these words, “I will do everything to make my family and friends happy,” or maybe I’m repeating this selfish sentence, “I just want to feel happy again, and I don’t care about other people.”
5: Change your mindset
Everything that happens around you is interpreted and appreciated only in you—in your brain. It’s up to you how you react to pain or failure. It’s on the problem rating scale in your mind that your well-being and behavior depend. Don’t you believe me? Imagine what it would be like if civilization found a way to install into your subconscious the mindset of the most successful people in the world. Do you think your life would change?
After all, if your mindset were, let’s say, like Elon Musk’s:
A) You would have the mindset of someone who knows how to look at himself from the sidelines, so you would take immediate action when faced with destructive emotions.
b) You would respect your life and time. That’s why you would curse yourself less often and think that something would go wrong or someone would laugh at you. Notice how I wrote the last sentence. After all, it contains human characteristics. When I talk about a person who respects his life, I’m only talking about the personality traits that you need.
It’s the key to success, changing your mindset! Because some have a loser mindset and others…
That’s why, if you want to be happy again, use my advice!
6: Change your ordinary life scenario
There are two things you can do:
a) Turn a new page of a written book.
b) Burn the old book, and write a new story with your own hands.
Which option will you choose?
We are not just talking about fate. We are talking about creativity and the right to choose.
You can become whoever you want, but it requires a change of personality and the goal of a journey. For example, you can strive for more than happiness (like many people). I have written an article about it. Read it. You will know why I offer you to stop looking for happiness. This article is about the different happiness that the most intelligent people experience when they discover balance.
Oh yes, if you want to do more, stop walking on paths trodden by ordinary people. If you manage to start your journey, you will feel ecstasy—freedom. And if you don’t like my suggestions, you can create your own goals. Go ahead!
I know this article is about happiness, but what if you were striving for something else?
For example, I know a special person who decided not to look for happiness but VIVACITY. This person believes that life is successful not when you are looking for happiness but when you experience many different emotions on a daily basis. It means that the more emotions you experience, the more you live. When you have this kind of mindset, you can stop worrying that you are not happy. And here comes the miracle—a breakthrough/revolution. WHEN YOU STOP WORRYING THAT YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, YOU START TO FEEL AWESOME AND RECEIVE A BONUS—HAPPINESS because happiness is felt by those who have discovered freedom—independence from happiness.
So answer yourself a question about what is better:
a) Focus on being happy again, like everybody (all seven billion people).
b) Become an ALIVE person who is not afraid of either bad or average emotions? Because he knows the day was meaningful and rich when he experienced a whole range of emotions, not just happiness!
“Nonsense, Alex. After all, if there are bad emotions in your life, is there a true life?” one of the readers will say aloud. I have an answer for him!
People who inspire us are not afraid of bad emotions. For example, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Read his book. You’ll understand that Arnold has experienced far more bad things and emotions than you have. In other words, he has crossed an ocean of bad emotions, and you only a lake! But what can be wrong here??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH IT?
Or maybe I’m wrong? Who do you think has made a mistake more times, you or him? Do you know how many unsuccessful films in his career made his career hang on a thread? Have you heard of his affairs with a nanny? If he was always happy, why did he cheat a wife who left him? Arnold still regrets what he did. Why am I talking about this? You have to understand that bad moods and sadness are an integral part of life. I know you know it, but sometimes you still feel sad about it, and deep down, you want things to be easier. But if things were simpler, you wouldn’t have to change anything, for what then do we need brains for? After all, they only evolved because problems surrounded us. So say thank you for the problems—we would still be in the caves without them! That’s what Darwin thought.
I’m sure you can squeeze out the benefits of this article, and if you’ve already achieved your goal, please share the link leading here with others. Maybe it will help your friends, acquaintances, co-workers who are constantly furious.
How to be Happy Again: FAQ
After publishing an article, I always get questions by email or on social media. I try to answer all the questions, even if they are repetitive, just give a more precise answer so that people can absorb the information faster. Because not everyone can devote their time to an entire article. So, let’s find out the answers to the most common questions related to emotional state and being happy again.
How do I move on and be happy again?
To be happy again, you have to a) deal with your existing problems, b) take time for yourself—rest.
It means that time should not be spent solely on dealing with problems. Because the problem is that people pay too much attention to their problems. In other words, everything is needed in moderation! So today, you should:
- Devote at least an hour to solving problems.
- Forgive yourself and those around you if something bad happens.
- Enjoy life.
The mixture of these activities will help you get the most out of your day!
What can make me happy again?
Think about the things that can make you feel happy again. Maybe it’s an activity that once brought you happiness. Or it could be completely new things. The main thing is not to constantly sit at the computer and at home, and just go out somewhere with friends. Who knows what awaits you if you take action. There are many tips on what to do in this article, so I suggest you take advantage of some or all of them!
How can I be happy with stress at work?
To be happy again at work, you need to look at it seriously. For example, if you are feeling extremely bad, it’s better to visit a psychologist. However, there are problems with very clear causes. Let’s say you feel stressed out because of your employer harassing you. In this case, the problem was not initiated by you. Then you should contact the relevant authorities.
Or other problems may occur. For example, we sometimes feel stressed out by fatigue, so we should take vitamins or just get more rest. But again, it all depends on how bad you feel at the moment.
My texts are for people who want to change values and attitudes. My job is not to deal with severe depression because there are extremely complex forms of depression that are hard to resolve without professional supervision, but I remember how bad I felt when I worked as a waiter. I had different thoughts as I received criticism. At first, I thought they were cursing me for my nationality. But a true reason was hiding within me. And all the waiters who cursed me became my friends. But I had to change my attitude. I talked about the restaurant and conflicts in it in my books!
So if you are in a similar situation, if someone has offended you, remember that your dreams, relationships with loved ones cost much more than talking about you. Oh yes, there are things in life that are much more significant than gossip. Therefore, take sarcasm into your hands and surprise people who harass you. And they will want to become your friends!
What causes unhappiness?
There are many reasons why you can feel unhappy. It depends on the air, rain, culture, values. But most often, the reasons lie in not knowing what happiness is and in relation to it. After all, if you strive for something you don’t understand, you probably won’t realize that you have already achieved your goal, right? So I propose to look at how various philosophers or the Oxford Dictionary describes this word. Since I’m a blogger and write a lot about happiness, I understand the meaning of this word. And because I know it, it’s easy for me to catch happiness anytime I want.
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