Is “Find your calling” good or bullshit advice?
Many people state that it is super important to find your calling. While this goal doesn’t look bad, it’s sneaky and comes with many serious downsides. I’ll tell you why. I’ll start from the beginning.
I was lost in all formats, frequencies, parameters, and sections when I was a kid. My classmates called me degenerate. I hated school, and I was getting poor grades. There was no luck in me, so I was looking for an answer, something to feed me with happiness, peace. When you are sad, you try to find a way. So I listened to the advice that was heard on TV and on the Internet.
Some suggested finding a favorite activity. They said, “When you find your calling, you will become happy!”
Others stated, “It’s best when you do what you like, and people pay for it.”
So I decided to find a calling…
A lot of time passed…
Once I heard the song “Nothing else matters.”
The notes of the band Metallica took root in the subconscious by whispering a sweet phrase: “You found a calling, man! Nothing matters anymore—just your calling!”
So after inhaling some air, I plunged into the world of music.
It was magic.
It was so crazy and fun.
Playing guitar was my passion and hobby, which I fucking loved; and which brought me some income, BUT. Even though I had two in one—what many people lack: favorite hobby and favorite job, I felt a void in my chest. Each day alcohol was in Alex Monaco’s stomach. Because neither personal or unique “calling” can’t rescue you from cigarettes, beer, or depression. Maaaaaaaany successful people have faced this problem. Do you remember the vocalist of Linkin Park who committed suicide? He had a calling to sing. I really loved his songs, but tragically he killed himself. And what about the prodigious vocalist of Nirvana, Curt Cobain? These guys discovered their calling; they had money, but they lacked something important. They lacked an understanding that: commercial professions advertised by humanity can’t guarantee long-lasting fulfillment, knowledge to overcome depression!
So a colossal QUESTION arises: “Is the discovery of a calling really as valuable as society claims?”
No, it isn’t valuable! Why? I will give a few reasons:
5 reasons why finding your calling is bullshit
Table of Contents
1. Finding your calling is risky.
When I was a musician, my teacher told me, “I invite you to my concert, will you play?” I agreed. I wanted to show myself to everyone—to prove that I was cool, so I prepared 14 hours a day. Consequently, I stretched tendons on my left arm. There were complications. Unfortunately, doctors have forbidden me from playing. I tried not to listen to their words but failed. The pain was gigantic, unbearable as if my hand was stuck in nitrogen. In other words, I have lost my beloved activity. So I have to ask you, reader. Answer me, what will the singer experience if he loses his voice? Or, what will a runner experience if he loses a leg? After all, if your personal calling is the most important, and if your values revolve around work only, then you will burn down, get upset, and…
In short, the more you become attached to a given occupation, the more addicted you become to it. I’m talking about slavery. Or, if we change the structure of thoughts, we get the following sentence: If your happiness depends on finding a calling in professions, then the job becomes your drug.
2. If you find your calling, it will put you in the frame.
Imagine you find yourself in one activity. And then you like the second, third and fourth. What will you do in this case? After all, society offers to focus on one or more professions. But when you want to do many things, f*cking idiots propose to look at life in a minimalist way. They want to limit you!!! But I don’t want this! For example, I like to eat, cook, make music, draw, learn hundreds of things, travel, and so on. I like making videos, so I edit video files myself. I create the film scripts myself. I love creating designs, so I made the covers for my books myself. I love creating poems, so I made all the poems myself. So what to do when you do so many things? What if I don’t want to choose one calling? What if the whole world and all created things excite me? I am not limited anyway, I am everything in everything, and everything is in me. That’s why long ago, I flushed my “calling to find myself in one or two lovable activities” down the toilet.
3. The problem of workaholism.
Remember your acquaintance who suffers from workaholism. He became a workaholic because he found a favorite job at the computer desk—VOILÀ! O shit, I know what it means to sit in the office until morning. I used to work a lot because I thought it was normal. To not blame me for it, I used to say to everyone, “but I like my job.” In fact, I thought it was good to work at the computer for 14 hours a day. And now I work much less. I work not to enjoy my work but to do more important things.
4. A calling only makes sense when it concerns true values.
Imagine a girl is standing on a sidewalk. She holds a portion of ice cream, and a bus is heading straight towards her. The crash is going to happen! The guy stands 5 meters from a possible disaster. Seeing the potential death of a girl, he thinks, “My calling in life is to be a photographer. Well, I’ll snap this event. Sure, it’s a pity for the girl, but how else can I earn from my activity? On the other hand, I don’t want to die trying to save her! Because working as a photographer is important.”
The outlined situation illustrates how humanity is stuck; after all, personal interests became more important than EVERYTHING.
“Alex. I don’t care about some strange girl, I want to find myself, my calling, what should I do???” one of the most selfish people will say. Well, if you don’t care about other people, let’s talk about you, a respectable self-interested person. If you want synthetic happiness, I’ll pretend to be a standard citizen for a while and say one sentence, “There is nothing more important than finding your calling. F*ck all problems that other people have, f*ck problems what planet has, and f*ck wars and people who die. The most important person is only you and only YOU, and when Alex Monaco tells you about values which are more important than professional calling, shrink like an ass and do what your body likes!”
5. If you find it, your life becomes unmanageable.
If you will find happiness in some job (professional callings) and your mood will depend on how you handle it, the next will happen: In the future, you will have problems with values, happiness, and people around you;
When you get old, you’ll regret that you were blinded by occupations, money, and the desire to have a favorite job, which, believe me, is not the most important thing. Maybe you think I’m wrong, but I’m not trying to be a righteous person. My passion is to help you. This passion is inside me; it is my calling. Yes, my calling is to see you as a best friend. My calling is to love you more than you love yourself.
|We live in a society where personal success has become way more important than the success of loved ones and the cultivation of human values.|
This is not all!
While we were talking with you, I can bet that someone living in your street dedicated his time to playing video games. Someone learned strip dance. However, learning and enjoying being proficient in these activities doesn’t guarantee that one will make progress in relationships, happiness, and personality maturation. Additionally, if these people don’t take the time to understand depression, what will they do when it becomes difficult for their loved ones? And how to help yourself when it’s hard? Do you understand now why so many people, even though they have found a profession they like, still suffer from evil thoughts? Because they don’t know how to make friends and understand the void in their chest. And yet we all have a talent for solving this problem! It is encoded in us! Or maybe you think that your calling is not to help your loved ones?
Do you think that your calling can’t be communicating with your loved one?
You can look at this topic from different perspectives. However, the essence remains the same. Why is that so? Maybe we misinterpret the word “calling?”
What is a true calling
Let’s look at this meaning in articles.
In a research paper named “Joy of Passion—Finding Your Calling,” you can find such a definition: “A person with a Calling works not for financial gain or Career advancement, but instead for the fulfillment that doing the work brings to the individual.”
As you can see, it is about work, professions, activities that we do for a living. However, the happiest people do not find themselves in occupations and offices, but those who feel comfortable no matter what work they do. Or maybe I am wrong? Think about it, when Miss Evolution created human beings, she did not know about any occupations/professions that people would make in the future. I’m sure that the profession of office rat is not encoded in the human genome. FACT: No one was born to sit in front of a PC for the entire day! Nooo, we weren’t born to be sewers, technical designers, or taxi drivers. Or maybe I am wrong? Do you know when the profession of a web designer was created? Imagine that you were born in 1922 with a calling to develop super websites; what could you do? Does it mean you will never find yourself, your calling?
So if you are looking for real/supernatural calling, which was coded in you, you should look for things not created by humans but by nature. You can treat my words as you like, but you will have to discover their meaning on your own. You can attach it to human skills, place, job, emotions, or whatever. Apparently, this task is not easy, so I looked even more profound when choosing my calling. Since there are no good books on the subject, I have divided the calling types into different categories. I have assigned the first category of callings to various professions that can generate money or pleasure. I classified the second type of callings as supernatural callings.
What are supernatural callings and talents?
Supernatural callings are more powerful than occupational callings. Supernatural callings increase your value, help you keep your balance, and be the master of life. Aristotle, if he was still alive, would say, “Yes, Alex is right.”
Aristotle would state that the most immense pleasure is to be aware and philosophical. And if our conversation was joined by other greatest philosophers, such as Confucius and Buddha, it would turn out that they were all talking about the same, just from a different perspective. So, for you, I will squeeze their thoughts into one sentence: The best way to find fulfillment is to work on your personality.
Of course, some people will contradict and even will laugh at my ideas. But I know what works—really works, and I believe anyone can do it. Because working on one’s mindset doesn’t require exceptional talent! Anyone can do it! But few do! Because society redirects elsewhere. Society and schools keep telling you that you need to spend more time on professional knowledge than on personal development, self-education. Because state institutions do not need people who can be happy and free.
I hope you understand my thoughts.
If not, correct and use them!
Or say out loud: “From now on, I will pay attention to supernatural callings I got from nature! I will learn to avoid bad thoughts! I will raise my level of awareness above the standard values! This is my innate calling—to live/enjoy the ability to breathe!” For the sake of Monaco, have you seen how professional guitarists (Satriani) play solo parts? You can play better than him, better than Niccolò Paganini, or Steven Vai! But you will do it with your brains—not guitar! If you work on it more often, you will change your emotions from minor to major. You will be able to play a few emotions per ounce, like playing chords. You will feel happiness, joy, and nirvana at once. I saw how people perform their life masterfully and impressively. It is impressive, and you can do it! Oh yes, while others play with strings or are typing on a computer keyboard, you can unleash your innate talent—create a fulfilled life that people will call a masterpiece! That’s right, you can oppose me, but there’s nothing more extraordinary than self-creation. And yes—let yourself become the result of your work. Be a symphony, a piece of paper filled with knowledge! Be a master of peace. Become the song that others want to sing. Build yourself from the best human values that can be admired as Paganini’s 24 Caprices!
In other words, I propose to become unique not because of your profession but because of what kind of person you have become—how have you shaped yourself!
Your value does not depend on the status but on the values you seek.
So what are you gonna do? Maybe it’s your turn? Perhaps it’s time to become a professional of life—the architect / the alchemist / the designer of your life? Trust me, everybody can do it!
Become the designer of your life—learn to control it. It is a much more clever move than being the best professional in Photoshop, TikTok, Corel, Adobe Premiere, or programming!
“Stupid you are, Alex! I don’t have the talent to become happy, so how can I design a happy life?” will say one of the guys reading this article. I have an answer for him! Are you ready?
EVERYBODY HAS THE TALENT TO CONTROL EMOTIONS. Any emotions! The control panel is in your head! You may feel better after drinking a beer or meditating. It would be better without beer, but beer proves that your choices can change the mood.
Maybe you still believe that looking for happiness in the profession is the most important thing in life?
Understand, it’s not wrong to study. It’s lovely when you learn, and you can make money from it later, but you should learn not to be happy someday, but because you are already happy and just want to add some new bonuses to your happiness and…
WAIT… I NEED TO EAT, ALEX, SHARE HOW TO GET MONEY FOR A LIVING?
“Ok, Alexxx, you offer me to not work at all? Or maybe you offer to find a shitty job I don’t like?” will ask one of the readers. I have an answer. Let’s get down to earth; we all need to eat after all. Your wallet can’t be empty, so it is not clever to work only on your personality, happiness. So let’s dive into reality: you need to solve problems with a job and money.
Of course, I don’t know your situation. Maybe you have a shitty job that you absolutely hate. Or perhaps you have a good one, but it’s starting to piss you off. I know what to do! Because once I was in your shoes!!!
Remember when I told you that I had worked in England? A lot of different jobs were attached to these hands because the author of this book was unhappy. Jumping from one employer to another like a grasshopper, I found myself at the Victoria Hotel in Torquay City. However, the problems did not evaporate. After all, every time I jumped from one job to another, I took the mentality of a dissatisfied person with me. That’s why my new job as a waiter was a horrible experience as previous ones. Here were a bunch of hyenas. Coworkers were ripping me apart each mutherfucking day with their gossip and angry stares. Once upon a time, I was disgusted with it all. Since the salary was not low, I was afraid of losing this job, but I was shocked by the desire for revenge. The decision was made; to show my middle finger to coworkers. This is what I did with a polish girl named Teresa, who was spreading disgusting rumors about me. When I saw her, I wanted to tickle my self-love—to make fun of her. I approached her and said, “Teresa, you are a princess. I have to tell you something. I realize that we don’t get along together, but from now on, I will try to make the work atmosphere a little bit more pleasant for both of us. And you know, I have liked you as a person from the beginning.”
Her reaction to my words killed my old mentality forever. If only you could have seen the expression on her face! Tears ran down her cheeks. In the beginning, she thanked me for the warm words. Secondly, in the evening, she approached me and said, “Alex, I spoke with the chefs and asked them to leave you some chicken in the microwave.”
From that day, I felt like I was working in heaven. It came to my mind that the only hyena in that restaurant was me.
Shortly after this, the work rules changed, and all the waiting staff obtained the right to eat without a cost. This was only the beginning. I became acquainted with the cooks and found out that one played drums, so we became friends. Shortly after, our supervisor, Omar, offered to create a website for his friends. I was new to web designing, but an offer was taken. That’s how the old Alex disappeared, and the new one who enjoys the particular moments and not the job itself was born. I realized this thing:
If you discover your passion for communication and learn to be a happy person, you will find happiness in any job, even if the job is really shitty. Because if you feel good, you will get a promotion, and maybe even become a director.
In the past, I would go around looking for a suitable place for myself, where I could perform technical tasks I liked. But after that, I started to look for a place where I could learn to love life. So I began to look for challenging jobs. I found passion in adapting to challenging conditions. Since adaptation to the environment is encoded in human beings, everyone can do it. So why don’t you awaken this talent, dear readers?
It’s challenging but possible.
So, how will you behave?
Imagine that in one year from now, I meet you on the street and ask, “Who are you?”
What will your answer be?
Are you a designer?
Maybe a movie star?
So, who are you?
Do you know why it is difficult for people to answer similar questions? Because when they were little, adults asked them what kind of profession they would like to take over, not what kind of people they would like to become…
But we should talk more about human characteristics, not about professions created by business people.
Remember, regardless of what great goals you set for yourself, you should first master the best profession on Earth—The Art of Life!
If you do not master The Art of Life, none of the super-duper prestige professions will bring you a sense of true satisfaction…
The Research Gate article “Joy of Passion—Finding Your Calling”
The Atlantic article “‘Find Your Passion’ Is Awful Advice”
Smart Brief article “Why finding your passion is terrible advice”
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You’re right. My true calling is to be happy!
When I typed in Google search “how to find my true calling,” I found your article. Interestingly, it says here that I shouldn’t look for my calling. I was surprised, but I liked it
I don’t know what my calling is, but I will read this article. i hope it will help.
Same as my thought