Why do I feel like a failure: How to cope with it
If one day you will say to yourself, “I’m a failure,” know that you are not alone. I am a failure as well.
Why do I feel like a failure? First, today I overslept for an online meeting. It was only the beginning. As soon as I stepped out onto the street, it began to rain as if on demand. However, the worst ever sh*t is in my Twitter account; there are only 23 subscribers! ONLY 23! I tried to get more, but I failed. Does it mean I am a loser? Yes, I am. But not in everything.
Because, at the same time, I am successful as f*ck. I have many readers. I have three Instagram pages. All of them have 100,000 fans altogether. I have a pretty face, the best one in the world (call me narcissistic, but it’s true), and my woman loves me with all her heart. And I have more than 30,000 email subscribers. Moreover, in Europe, 25,000 copies of my first book were sold. Anyway, I repeat, I feel like a failure in some things.
For example, I would like to make movies like James Cameron and sing like Freddie Mercury, but I can’t. My hearing sucks for that. I was born this way, as my singing teacher said. I remember how she laughed at me for not singing the notes, but today I realize that I’m a million times luckier than Freddie Mercury because I can still continue my journey. Yes, he had a good voice, but I have my life. So I’m super successful—highlighting this particular reason. What do I want to say? That there’s no success without failure, and there’s no failure without success. It’s like yin and yang. It’s like day and night. All connected. And the more failures you have, the more you will succeed in the future, and the more you will get success, the harder failures you will experience.
For example, imagine that you somehow won 100 million. You are happy. You take 1 million and invest in a startup. But it fails. So the money which you won created the possibility of failure.
The same is with relationships. When you find a significant other, you immediately have the opportunity to get angry with them. But if the other half didn’t exist, there would be no one to fight with, which means that if you gave up the relationships entirely, you would have significantly fewer failures.
But is it worth giving up the ability to fail? After all, are failures necessary for a person? Or maybe not? To understand this truth, I suggest you ask yourself what failure is.
Table of Contents
Definition of failure
Failure is the state when you don’t reach your desirable objective, so you start screaming like a goose, “I’m not good; I’m worse than others! I am failure in life!” Yes, it is a state of mind that we can change if we have enough practice.
Failure has many synonyms like bankruptcy, breakdown, defeat.
As well, failure has many antonyms like improvement, increase, success, win, accomplishment.
Failure has many stages. I will mention all six in a moment.
6 stages of failure
– Stage 1: Shock and Surprise.
– Stage 2: Denial.
– Stage 3: Anger and Blame.
– Stage 4: Depression.
– Stage 5: Acceptance.
– Stage 6: Insight and Change.
The main interesting thing is that wisdom people are able to decrease stages. They are not shocked when it goes wrong. They don’t blame themselves. They have only two stages. The first is acceptance and the second one is change. Cool right? Do you want to be wise? And stop asking yourself, “Why am I such a failure?” Then buy my courses. I’m joking. I don’t need your money. But I need you to be happy. More than happy. Promise me that you will never be sad because of temporary failures from today.
“Okay, thank you, but how can I change?” you will ask. I will share with you my own experience. It will be powerful.
A healthy way to cope with failure (personal experience)
Researchers many times proved that you can overcome failure. But you need to choose a strategy and method.
There are many ways.
As a very practical man, I offer to my readers only effective ways, which I tried with my body and brain.
Oh yes, I tried many things. I had so many fights, but my life changed only when I started to laugh at myself (sarcasm helps). Oh yes, sarcasm is so powerful!
When you can laugh at your own mistakes, your actions change 100%. And you start using failures for your own benefit.
Should I give an example? Okay! Wait for it a second!
My deputy once said that I was a bastard.
“Come on you stupid, idiot, sh*t up!” I could have said it, but I didn’t. I could have scowled like a loser. But I said, “Thank you, I will call my book Happy Bastards.” So, I jumped at the chance. And I made money from it. And many in my shoes would pull handkerchiefs, wipe tears.
And if you think you are a failure, write a book entitled “I’m A Failure. Give Me An Award For It!” Or… Make a movie about how you fail each day. Just make money from it!
Earn from your failures, dear friend. Then you can start saying that you are successful.
Surely, you need time and practice, but I have an offer for you.
When next time you will feel bad and say, “I failed at life,” return to this site and read these reasons why you are not a failure. I will share some reasons!
3 reasons why you are not a failure
1. You are not a failure because you have found me—the most genuine and sugarless blogger who can change your life (if you stay with me longer and read me more frequently).
2. You are not a failure because you have been given the opportunity—the present. I am offering you a free gift of 12 meetings with me, where you will receive 12 missions to help you find happiness. By filling out this form, you can start receiving life-changing letters from tomorrow and be on your way to success!
3. You are not a failure; as you can see, rain isn’t raining on your head; even if it is, you don’t always need an umbrella, right?
If you don’t like my offers, you can take into account the other options.
8 tips to overcome failure
1. Accept feelings and emotions.
2. Failure doesn’t mean your life is going to be over.
3. Learn from failure and be constructive.
4. Find inspiration.
5. Don’t give up.
6. Be passionate.
7. Surround yourself with positive people.
8. Avoid isolating yourself.
Print it. Grab a glue pen and stick it on your mirror in the hallway. Or, you can stick it on your monitor. Because this information is more important than you think!
Don’t forget to read more about psychology and philosophy. It will provide you with wisdom.
It’s really important to understand how things work.
I recommend reading self-development bloggers like Mark Manson. For example, he has an article called “10 Reasons Why You Fail” that discusses failures. Mark Manson says that:
10 reasons why you fail
1. You fail because you’re afraid to stand out among the crowd
Society often tries to discourage self-reliance and independence because it threatens the complacency of those around us, and those closest to us may become the harshest critics. So if you don’t have strong boundaries or confidence in your own ideas and desires, probably, you will fail.
2. You’re not persistent enough
Most people give up on their passions too quickly, but true success requires perseverance through struggle.
3. You fail because you lack humility
Many people who are not very successful pretend to be experts by boasting about their accomplishments and giving out unsolicited advice, while truly successful people are humble and admit when they don’t know something.
4. You fail to network and build strong relationships
According to research, a lack of social connections can have negative effects on a person’s well-being. Mark Manson backs this up with reliable sources.
5. You fail because you’d rather argue against advice instead of taking it
Trying to be right instead of good is a guaranteed express ticket to sucking.
6. You fail because you’re too distracted
The main idea of this reason is that attention saturation disorder affects people through excessive social media and news consumption and can be improved by practicing self-discipline.
7. You fail because you don’t take responsibility for what happens in your life
To fix problems in your life, you must take responsibility for them in order to have control over them.
8. You fail because you don’t believe it’s possible
Beliefs about our own abilities can influence our level of effort and expectation of success, and those who overestimate their capabilities are more likely to take action and eventually achieve success through learning from failures.
9. You fail because you’re afraid to care
Many people struggle with a lack of clear passion and motivation, leading to a tendency to give up quickly or lose interest, often due to fear of failure and underlying emotional issues.
10. You fail because, deep down, you don’t think you deserve what you want
People often find ways to ruin their own happiness due to insecurities and fears, creating invisible barriers that prevent them from achieving success and happiness.
Do you like these 10 reasons?
Although I may not agree with all of the reasons, the guy who created them makes some valid points. That is why I suggest you read more about it in his article. Not only in his article. Perhaps even look into books about failure!
Because the more you understand what failure is, the easier you can fight it.
“I know what is failure, Alex, why do you speak about it?” one of the readers will state. Okay, let’s check if you know what it is. Let’s do a mini-test, okay?
Are you ready for a question?
Tell me, what are the 3 types of failure?
Where’s your answer, dear reader?
Here is the answer:
3 types of failure
– Preventable failure: a failure caused by deviating from a known process.
– Complex failure: a failure caused by a system breakdown.
– Intelligent failure: a failure caused by an unsuccessful trial.
Did you know about these types?
If you knew, then it’s just the beginning. There’s more information in books and on this website.
Oh yes, read, read, and read my website. It will save your ass. And one day, you will feel that your view has shifted. Trust me, I tried, and it worked out. That’s why I’m sitting in a Ferrari with a cigar right now, and ladies smile and wink at me. No, I’m joking. It’s not necessary to smoke a cigar in a Ferrari. F*ck Ferrari. Because I met some guys who had Ferrari cars but still were unhappy and repeated to themselves, “I’m a failure.” They wanted more cars, more success, more girls.
So right now, I’m not in a Ferrari. I don’t need it. I use a taxi because I can enjoy life while the driver drives me. And I like to travel. So I don’t need to bring my car with me. Right now, I’m in a small town in Kaunas. Yesterday I was in Vilnius. And I loved it. I f*cking don’t need a helicopter to feel fulfillment. To feel successful, I need only to be positive. And I am positive. I am more positive than anyone. I am positive not because I have more money than you but because I have a positive mindset. When you have a positive mindset, you see lessons that teach you to be more positive in all failures.
Train your mindset to be more like that of Alex Monaco, and you will find happiness. Don’t let fear of failure hold you back, as what others think is unimportant.
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