Once upon a time, I naively believed that WHEN I BECOME SUCCESSFUL, WHEN I CATCH LUCK BY ITS TAIL, I would raise my hands to the sky like Rocky Balboa and shout, “I’m a happy person!” But after I achieved success, I stayed on the same level of emotion. Because success rarely leads to happiness. The truth is that happiness (and a few other things I’ll tell you about) has a muuuuuch bigger impact on our lives and…
“You’re a fool, Alex… you talk nonsense! Success is the most important, and…” one of the readers will exclaim, to whom I will present the arguments in a moment. And let the lightning strike me if I’m wrong!
Let’s start with the research.
Scientists have conducted over 225 types of research. Their task was to understand which is more important, success or happiness?
After calculating the results, they found that happiness has a more beneficial effect on success than success on happiness. (See the report entitled “Does Happiness Lead to Success.”) Okay, the hell with those researches. Few believe them anyway. However, remember your childhood friend. He was once a “COOL MAN.” It was good to kill time with him. But everything has changed. Because he sold his ass for success, and when he succeeded, he lost his humanity, peace, and finally—happiness.
Such a person can only be understood by jumping in his shoes.
Imagine you’ve started a business. You plow for six months—nothing. But suddenly, you begin to succeed. When you are successful, you receive more orders. When it rains with orders, you have to fulfill them—completing orders requires greater concentration. And everything seems okay, but the problem is that when you are lucky for three months in a row, your client list grows at a cosmic pace. And the more customers/clients, the more complaints. What do you think? How many bad comments is Uber getting?
And while the business is booming and success smiles at you, you are increasingly confronted with the challenges faced by the CEO of Uber. Once, the Uber driver was shouted at by a taxi driver. “Hey, you’re dropping the prices,” he complained. And then he shared this video online.
The video shows the Uber CEO reproaching a taxi driver. So I have a question for the Uber boss, “What’s from that luck if it’s harder for you to squeeze a smile than to open your wallet?”
So welcome to a reality where successful people have far less peace and happiness than imagined.
It turns out that success is not a bridge to happiness. On the contrary, success takes you away from your goals, inner peace, and fulfillment. I know what I’m saying. Because the more successful I am, the more difficult it becomes for me to manage my emotions and… Because success is extremely insidious… It can separate you from a loved one. And the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey” confirms this fact.
Do you remember that movie?
Remember that scene where a man from “Fifty Shades of Grey” dissolves a woman’s heart? And having pulled her into bed, he begins to undress her… Then something terrible happens when…
“Wait, wait, Alex, what are you talking about? How does success separate people?” a reader will clarify with whom I will not argue. My only advice is that you dedicate some time to Jordan Peterson’s work!
|Jordan Peterson—a professor of Clinical Psychology, University of Toronto, Canada, books author, YouTube celebrity. He gained international attention after speaking publicly about the cultural and political challenges facing Western society.|
In one of the videos, Peterson tells about successful men who, for some reason, are dumped by women. Why is this happening? Because sometimes men focus ONLY ON SUCCESS. These people spend all their days only on business, making new friends, business meetings, and office work.
Don’t repeat the mistakes they keep repeating, okay?
After all, intelligent people have checked the success and realized that it’s not enough.
Gary Vaynerchuk will agree with me:
So decide what you want:
c) Success and happiness.
d) Happiness, fulfillment, personal changes, and…
I chose option D.
This means that I choose a mix—balance.
And I advise you because we rarely understand what success is, so the mere pursuit of it is a superficial activity. For example, some people think that success is money, but I’ve already written that money doesn’t solve all problems. Others find you successful when you have a healthy body (but many healthy people are sad). There are also some who believe that finding a beautiful girl will become a tremendous success in the world, which is also a lie. And I think REAL success is about changing your mindset. However, you can miss the target even by knowing what success is. You just don’t know what’s waiting for you in the future, so wise people choose the full range of values. Therefore, I believe that the ingredients listed in point D are faaaaar more powerful than the definition that people call success. That’s why I strive for different things, even things that I don’t understand yet, because I’m not wise enough.
Oh yes, my goals are outside of the standard mindset, so I don’t emphasize success or happiness. I strive for much more important/broader/deeper things.
I know you understand the hint, and for those who don’t, I recommend watching “Cast Away.”
Yes, yes, that movie with Tom Hanks.
“Cast Away” is an excellent drama about a guy named Chuck.
Chuck is a super effective executive. He travels the world solving FedEx problems. Everyone respects him. Workers dance to his trumpet. Everyone needs you when you’re lucky, so Chuck is invited on another flight. But the plane crashes—welcome on an uninhabited island!
Interestingly, the experience gained during the successes did not help him start the fire. That’s why he was freezing.
I am talking not only about the physical cold. I mean spiritual, psychological cold. Our hero had a cold in the chest. Someone would say it’s normal when going through extreme situations, but I suggest you look at your close friends. You will see how many people’s strength gave way even though they live in Kaunas, Vilnius. These people feel as if they live in extreme conditions. They complain and cry. Everything seems bad to them. You don’t even know how they would feel if they appeared like Chuck on the island … How do you think they would behave?
Now answer, how would a yogi feel if he landed on an island with only coconuts and palm trees?
After all, he doesn’t need what Chuck needs?
Would yogi try suicide like Chuck?
As you can see, it all depends on fundamentals, values, attitudes, and certainly not on how YOU WERE DOING IN BUSINESS OR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH REPRESENTATIVES OF ANOTHER GENDER…
The bottom line is that success doesn’t prepare you for psychological challenges. Unfortunately, the hero of the movie could not understand this. He dreamed of regaining the two most important things he had lost on the island: a relationship with a woman and a position at FedEx. But, returning to civilization, our hero becomes much more lonely than on the island.
Though he WAS FORTUNATE enough to return to civilization, the uncertainty was ripping his chest.
He realized that the success he CRAVED FOR a year ago was worth nothing, absolutely nothing!
And our hero realized it only now, today… And you still pursue what Chuck once aspired to… Chuck was like everyone else… He was part of a gray society… A robot…
Even I was like that.
Like Chuck, I had to find a crossroads…
The end of the movie
Remember the end of the movie when Chuck finds a crossroads?
So Chuck chooses a path.
This time is different.
This time, he doesn’t need a path to success. He doesn’t care about success. The challenges opened Chuck’s eyes. Values and tasks have changed. This is always the case when arrows stop in place.
He doesn’t need status, skyscrapers. He needs something real, unplayed, not what 99% of young people and 67% of adults strive for. And you can tell him those phrases: “happiness is a key to success” or “success is a key to happiness,” but he no longer needs any keys.
What did the director of “Cast Away” want to tell us?
The movie “Cast Away” deserves a lot of attention, and only educated people can digest the content that can be found in it.
Oh yes, the director did outstanding work. I shake his hand.
First, the director wanted to impress upon our heads an iron truth: Only the most complex trials can give a person wisdom. And if you focus only on success, you slow down the pace of your personality development.
In other words: fulfillment, peace, and happiness will only be achieved by those who solve HARD challenges, not by those who achieve universal success! Because earning money is no more difficult than creating an emotionally stable personality + a balanced life.
The director teaches us:
a) Understand your values and goals.
b) Understand the importance of reassuring a loved one when they experience loss. And only you can learn it all… Only you. If you experience serious challenges that will motivate you to transform your personality. The more trials and misfortunes you experience, the faster you will be able to attain wisdom.
And everyone realizes life needs as many challenges as possible, but I’ve been running away from them for a long time. Why is this happening? In a moment, I will tell you…
Why do we run away from challenges?
“Every fool knows that man needs challenges,” a reader will say. And I support him.
I also wanted challenges, but there was a lot of anxiety in me. That’s why I chose an easier path. On a daily basis, I devoted my time to business and only to business. Because after earning money, you will solve all problems?
I worked, worked, but my condition didn’t change. And time passed. Tick tack, tick tack…
Once again, after analyzing my life, I said, “Alex, it is enough to strive for success to achieve happiness—focus on emotions! Learn to understand emotions! And strive for more important things! Strive for fulfillment! Strive for inner strength! If you pursue a personality change, you will automatically become super successful, happy, content, and…”
I wanted it all, so I said, “This time, I will definitely change!”
I inhaled some air. I concentrated and…
And I FAILED!
Because it’s harder to change your mindset than start a business and earn money, I had money but no ability to change my mindset…
But such a life sucked. And I decided to change again.
Though I didn’t believe in affirmations, I started using them! Looking in the mirror 3 hours a day, I was repeating like a parrot, “I will be successful, I will be successful, I will be successful!” I trusted the Universe, and everything was resolved! Sure, I’m kidding; the Universe didn’t give a damn about me! The truth: the biggest changes came when I found a teacher. Arrogant, candid teacher. And he started creating challenges. Tough challenges. Every day. And when he left, I already knew how to create challenges for myself.
And now I was able to grow myself!
Looking at my life, we will see that the challenges helped me the most. This means you have to pursue challenges, not happiness or success. And the more complex the challenges, the better.
I know the title of this article is “Happiness or success: Which is more important?” but if you want to achieve more, pursue challenges!
I know what I’m saying! It was the challenges that gave me the advantage! It was the challenges that got me where others wanted!
Oh yes, that has not happened yet!
Do you hear me?! This has not happened before, and I am sure it WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!
This is the only way to recharge yourself with positivity, motivation, knowledge, and support to move forward!
How to change your life in 30 days: Commitment
There’s one super important thing that I...
Why nobody wants you to become happy
“(...) nobody wants me to become happy,...
The tip you should follow if you want to have more time
People who have time for everything Do...
Proven Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic and Find Happiness
When I was 23, two friends dropped...
9 Books About Your Life that Will Make Your Life Better
Today I will mention 9 books That...
Ho to change your life in 1 month
I rarely publish articles of other authors on...