I don’t know what to do with my life: The search for meaning

If you constantly repeat, “I don’t know what to do with my life!”, you are not alone. I had the same thoughts. And today I will share with you my experience.

Let’s begin! 

Is it normal to be unsure of what to do in life?

As I am the most honest blogger in the world, there are days when I question certain choices. And it’s normal.

What exactly am I doubting?

Sometimes I’m unsure what to drink—tea or coffee.

And sometimes I’m unsure whether my job is really meaningful for this world and even for God. Why? You see, I’m not sure if God will thank me for all the work I’m doing now. Yes, I’m f*cking unsure. Because I have many projects and ideas. I am a blogger, a writer, an investor, and so on, but which of these jobs is really meaningful? What is more meaningful, writing books or articles? This is a dilemma. The problem is that there is no meter of true values, which would be created by the world’s creators and which would show without error which activities are really meaningful and which are not. Of course, you can decide what makes sense for you, but what makes sense for humanity and the universe is unknown. And when you’re not a self-important asshole, then you want to know what makes sense to humanity, not just to you alone. So all of these thoughts create chaos in my head.

But…

Despite all my thoughts, I still do my job. I’m writing these words in the hope that they will help people. And if my work helps at least one person, I will work. And no matter that I’m not sure if in the future I will continue to believe that writing is meaningful work or not, I still write, write, write.

So I have hope.

Sometimes hope is all we have.

That’s why I value hope more than diamonds, gold, and $.

The hope of finding meaning is more important than the meaning itself. Because you can live without meaning, but without hope is indescribably difficult. 

How to figure out what is worth to do in life?

If you have trouble deciding on what to do in life, I will give you a hand and some tips. 

1. Do what wisdom people do. 

Take a look at the meanings the Dalai Lama is striving for.

If you don’t like the Dalai Lama’s values, choose another person. You can learn from Lincoln. Take a moment to study his biography. Oh yes, take a look at the goals pursued by especially respected people who are still remembered by humankind, because there is a reason for it, right?????

Oh yes, wise people know more, so it’s worth taking an interest in them.

“You’re talking sh*t, those sages are morons!” someone will exclaim (there will always be those who contradict the values of intelligent people).

Eh… 

But wise people have seen so much life!!! Why not listen to them???

Therefore, you should be interested in what they say, regardless of the fact that their intentions seem lame. Otherwise, you will regret in the future that you only strived for a few things that people your age were striving for.

Remember: You can only become wise if you are looking for meaning not only among your peers.

2. Find what you like and what makes you smile.

This advice will be banal, but it works and is needed.

After all, there are things that make us smile, but we don’t notice them ourselves. For a long time, I was looking for something that would make me smile. I used to like eating apple pies. Therefore, I came up with the idea of doing it more often. But I knew it wasn’t wise to eat only pies. I didn’t want to get fat, so I thought of a hobby—traveling around the world in search of the tastiest apple pie. Some people laughed at me because I once went to Amsterdam for just one pie. But it was exceptional. So…

Again…

Answer to yourself, “What makes you smile?”

And don’t look for an activity that you will definitely be doing for the rest of your life. Because you can’t be sure about it.

You never know what’s going to happen next. 

Perhaps you feel satisfaction in painting pictures. It’s possible that in five years you’ll be a well-known artist, but it’s also possible that you’ll have gone on to another skill. It makes no difference. You can use the knowledge you gained from painting as a fallback and to assist you in the completion of other projects in the future. Experiment and see what works best for you.

3. Find out what you need (by Maslow).

When we ask ourselves, “What do I want?”, we run the risk of getting lost since the answers may not satisfy our fundamental requirements. However, psychologists have given a variety of hypotheses that might assist us in better comprehending what it is that we require. Let’s have a brief look at these things so that we may better understand what it is that we truly require.

According to Maslow’s theory, some needs are more important than others, and the wants that are lower in the hierarchy have to be met before we can focus on the needs that are more important. The requirements for survival, such as food, drink, and protection, are of the utmost significance.

Our well-being has been a direct result of meeting these needs. This shows that using this model to figure out what we desire may be helpful. Consider, for example, whether you believe any of your needs are being met in your life. What changes do you wish to see in your life? What are you going to do about it?

4. Ask yourself, “What do I don’t want?”

Being clear about what you don’t want is another way to figure out what you do want. Make a list of the things you should avoid the most. Things like hate, unfairness, being alone, etc., might be on your list. After you have your list, think about what else you need to do. Sometimes what we fear is exactly what we want. For example, I was afraid to go on stage, but now I live on stage.

Many people are afraid of telling the truth to people on screens, but maybe it makes sense.

Best questions to ask if you don’t know what to do with your life

Reader, I want to ask you how you feel… Answer, what do you want to achieve?

And now answer, “What will you want to achieve after 10 years?”

Aaand now answer, “What will you want to achieve after 30 years?”

If you answered these questions in a few seconds, I shake your hand.

But if you found it difficult to answer, you should be with me more.

Because I felt like you!

In the past, I used to ask myself, “What do I really want?”, “What do I really want in this life?” But today I’m asking myself other questions. Oh yeah, I think there are more important things.

So, my dear friend, instead of asking, “What do I want to do with my life?”, consider another question, “What I will want to do in 30 years?”

Or you can ask yourself, “How to live a life, in which my actions create meaningful existence?”

I believe that these questions are 100 times better.

Because these questions can help to change your personality. That is, I suggest focusing on personality change rather than an external goal. In other words, I suggest you: change yourself as a person, because only this has meaning.

Oh heck, so many books have been written about it!

So many films have been made about it!!!

In a moment we will talk about them!

Below are three movies. Do your own conclusions!

Shortcut to Happiness (2003)

Aspiring writer Jabez Stone (Alec Baldwin, producer, and director) is a total loser in Manhattan. He can’t sell his books and doesn’t have much luck with ladies, so he quits trying. Because of his jealousy over his friend Julius Jensen (Dan Aykroyd), who sold his work to an editor for $190,000, Jabez decides to sell his soul to the devil and ends up killing a woman with his type machine. 

Jabez signs a contract with the Devil (Jennifer Love Hewitt), who comes knocking on his door. The main character of the storyline becomes wealthy and starts making a good reputation with ladies, but he has no time for his close friends because of his popularity. Daniel Webster (Sir Anthony Hopkins), the publisher, visits Jabez and offers him a way out of his deal with the devil. 

Watch a movie to know what happens next!

And please focus on the essence. Pay attention to the character’s desire to GET WHAT HE WANTS.

When he gets what he wants, he starts to think, “Maybe it’s not what I want that matters?”

The character will have to understand that the meaning lies not in WHAT YOU HAVE, but in WHO YOU ARE. That is, the goals we want are not meaningful. The meaning lies in the maturity of the personality. And that’s it. Life is not given to achieve desired goals, but to polish one’s personality. 

Down with Love (2003)

Feminist author Barbara Novak (Renée Zellweger) publishes a best-selling book in 1962 about the perils of love. She urges women to give up long-term relationships with males in favor of independence, career success, and satisfying sex life. Catcher Block (Ewan McGregor) is a slick writer who decides to expose Barbara as a con artist by having her fall in love with him. Despite her success, many men are taken aback by her progressive ideals. His strategy, however, has unintended repercussions.

This is a movie about harming others for your own personal desire.

It’s about goals that later change.

This movie proves once again that the most important thing is not what you personally want.

Personal ambitions, this is what hurts people.

And when you don’t focus on your personal ambitions, life begins to burst into bloom. This movie proves it.

Although we could accuse this motion picture of populism, it’s still cute.

If Only (2004)

Emily (played by Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Peter (a new British actor named Paul Nicholls) are a young couple who live together in London. Peter is a businessman from Britain, and Emily is an American who wants to be a singer. As we meet the couple in the beginning of the movie, there is some sweet, light-hearted comedy. But because they have problems that many young couples have, they are on a bad note when tragedy strikes and ends their relationship. It’s hard to say much more without giving away too much of the movie, but let’s just say that it’s a touching, dramatic love story that shows what a unique chance can bring and why we shouldn’t take what we say or do in relationships for granted because anything can happen in life.

And this movie proves that there is more than just wanting to be loved by the person you love.

The main character of the movie seemed to have lost everything, but she had other things left. She still had her life. And life itself is much more important than all goals. 

That’s not all!

When you have a question, it’s best to call a mentor.

It’s always harder without a mentor or teacher, that’s why you need one.

And let him be a mature person who does not drink, smoke or swear.

If he is surrounded by many respected people, heed his advice!

And you will understand how the world works.

This advice is super good.

After all, I tried it.

Once I find an advisor, a mentor.

I remember how he said, “Alex, there’s nothing permanent in this world, so finding a “meaningful activity” can’t guarantee that you will always like it, so you should focus on other things.”

When I asked what he meant, he replied, “The meaning lies in the search for meaning.”

In order to understand this sentence, one needs to go through many stages of transformation.

Therefore, no matter how hard I try, only one in 100 will understand what I want to say here. Only one in a hundred will realize that the search is more important than the purpose for which the search is being conducted. In the language of love, it can be said that love is more important than the final goal. This means that love is more important than marriage.

That’s not all…

My mentor helped me understand many other things.

For example, I realized that it is better to be a seeker than someone who already found all the answers.

Oh yes, we like to read books about people who are searching for an answer, so in my books, I write about people who are searching, not found.

We watch movies about people who are searching.

So I will say this, “If you, the reader, are looking for an answer, and you don’t know what is worth pursuing, then you are an amazing hero that I would like to write a book about.”

Because you are interesting.

And yes, the next time you upload a photo of yourself on Facebook, don’t let it contain a Ferrari or money… Let people see in the photo a person who is looking for an answer like in this photo:

As you can see, in the photo I’m wearing sneakers because I’m always ready to run, after something, I don’t know what. As you can see, I am looking for something in the letter! Because I’m a seeker! I’m an explorer!!! And What’s Wrong With That?

Or look at this photo:

Someone will say, “Alex, you stand so firmly on the rocks here, you look like a winner.” But let’s be honest. I am spread out in this photo because otherwise, I would fall off the rocks. And I look to the side. I’m looking for something. So what’s wrong with that?

AFTER ALL, A SEARCHING PERSON IS INTERESTING? And if you are searching too, then we are soul brothers. We are seekers. And that is marvelous! I hope we meet somewhere, someday!

More reading

Vision board: How to get more motivation by Alex Monaco
A manifestation journal: How to get started by Joan
What do you want in life? by BetterUp
I Don’t Know What To Do With My Life by Soul Salt